I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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