My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
