are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
