dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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