I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
