Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
