I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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