watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
