Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
