The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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