Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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