You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
