Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We talked him into tasing himself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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