Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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