Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
