I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
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My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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