dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been