im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize