I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.