3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk