If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
