I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
