At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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