so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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