its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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