No, drunk sperm still make babies.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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