Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
