how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
