Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
