Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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