i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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