So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've blown a few things in my day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize