What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
