okay pat passed out under dana's car
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize