Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My ass is underappreciated
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
