if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize