wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
