From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
