adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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