i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
