dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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