ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
