there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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