Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
