I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
