How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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