Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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