ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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