I showed him my bush... on skype.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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