9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
