He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
