Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
