after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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