Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
