Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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