Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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