It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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