So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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