I don't think brook has ever known best
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
