used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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