I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
