Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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