just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
