woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
