And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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